Week 2/18/13

Family relationships are interesting and ever changing depending on circumstances and different people. That’s part of the reason why there are so many problems that arise between newlyweds. Different issues that arise between newlywed couples include adjustments to in-laws, different daily routines, finance issues, different gender roles, birth control decisions, boundaries between family members, and countless others. I appreciate discovering some of these things now while I am dating because I can watch out for them as I look for a spouse. Any two different people are going to have differences so what is key is finding someone who I share enough similarities with and someone who can coexist and is then willing to intertwine customs with me.
Something that has especially been on my mind is the problems that arise when children come into the picture. The trend associated with married couples’ relationships is that they suffer with children – each child added to the family brings more difficulty and stress upon their marriage. Once the children begin to leave the nest they reach ultimate happiness again and there are some things that can be done to avoid these “baby blues”.
A few things stuck out to me in particular as I participated today in class discussion. Number one, a couple has to maintain communication. Communication is key to a successful relationship; but more importantly positive communication. Even when a couple disagrees, it is always important to recognize ideas and different perspectives and to appreciate them. Care about what the other person has to say. Also, it is essential to be considerate. These may seem like simple things to consider but these are the concepts that are so often overlooked. When any challenges come about, realize that each partner may be struggling and that being a wife/husband/mother/father is hard work. One of the biggest points though – is to make sure that you do not portray your children as a burden. When a husband comes home from work, he shouldn’t hear “Ok, here ya go! Now it’s your turn!” No, he should be able to have the opportunity to enjoy his wonderful children. This is a concept that I need to apply to my every-day life. For instance when serving in a leadership position, it is easy to see others as a problem rather than as people. This is something to be avoided. I need to realize that each son/daughter of our Heavenly Father is just that – a blessed son or daughter who are unique and serve a special purpose with his/her own unique talents and qualities.

Week 2/11/13

This week in family relations class, we talked about some of the important things to know in dating. This is the process that is so often looked past in today's world that needs to be addressed. People today just don't date. I learned a couple of things that I didn't necessarily agree with before. For instance, the question was brought up about the first date. If I don't see things going anywhere with a young man should I decline the date? I was surprised to find that most people disagreed with me that it is alright to say no. Instead, it is fine to realize that I need to practice getting to know a variety of people as well as learn how to interact with different people. There shouldn't be so much weight put into the first date. First dates are meant to be fun and relaxed - just a good time. If you cannot necessarily "see yourself marrying that person" don't say no - you never know if you're misjudging them and it's an opportunity to get out and date a variety of people. I'm trying to adopt this kind of attitude, which is not far from my own, but at the same time if I said yes to every guy who asked me on a date I might be having more long Friday (date night) nights than I would like, so good judgement is needed in that process as well. Also, once a couple begins courting, that doesn't mean that dating should stop. Courting means that people are just seeing one another exclusively and if that is the case, they still need to date and continue to get to know one another. Also, we do not get to know people just in three months, in fact, that is when we barely start to see the real people who have begun to let their "pretty face" come off. It is so crucial to date someone and get to know them a bit more thoroughly before we decide to become engaged to them.